


The passions that we fought with and subdued

by bourbonlake



Category: Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Deserved Better, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Redeemed Ben Solo, Romance, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:07:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27647953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bourbonlake/pseuds/bourbonlake
Summary: Rey nodded. "Is it the Force? Is the dyad the reason I feel this way?""I can't say for sure," Leia said, "but I don't think so. I think you would have loved each other regardless."***Ben Solo will spend his life atoning for his crimes.
Relationships: Leia Organa & Ben Solo, Leia Organa/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 1
Kudos: 40





	The passions that we fought with and subdued

**Author's Note:**

> _The passions that we fought with and subdued  
>  Never quite die. In some maimed serpent’s coil  
> They lurk, ready to spring and vindicate  
> That power was once our torture and our lord._
> 
> (I managed to orphan this instead of something else, so here it is again.)




So many times had Rey faced the monster that was Kylo Ren. So many times had Rey felt the light within. So many times had Rey felt the storm raging inside him.

For someone with so much power, he hid so little. Rey could see the holes life had punched through him as clearly as if she were looking at herself. Not even Leia Organa, with her wisdom and age and mighty Skywalker blood could see the edges of the mask as clearly as Rey could: rage to hide rejection, fury to hide fear.

It was their bond, Leia said. It was their bond in the Force that drew them together time after time. It was their bond that let her in when he fought to keep her out. _Not her_. _She's too good. I can only hurt her. She wants no part of me._

Ben's self-imposed exile after Exegol cut her to the core. Some part of her was missing, some newly discovered part that left a whole larger than the one her parents ever did. Every night, their last hours together resurfaced. His strength, his focus, his hands, arms, face. His smile. His departure. _Come back_ , she begged, tears falling with abandon. _Come back to me._

#

Ben's return was an unceremonious thing.

Leia arranged for a room to be made ready in a sparsely populated area of the military installation she governed from. Ben, who was even now held in low regard by the rebellion's remaining forces, was met by his mother's open arms.

"I've wasted so much time," he said, stooping to meet her.

"We have time now."

A wave of desperation washed over him. "Where is she?"

Leia placed her hands on Ben's shoulder's, pulling him back to look him over. "She's been waiting for you."

#

Rey hovered above a small clearing a mile or more from the rebellion's base.

She shut out the noise of the world around her. There was only the Force, flowing over her and through her, filling her with the voices of Jedi before her as all traces of the tangible world faded from her senses. Rey felt a consciousness brush against hers, probing, asking permission.

_Rey?_

_No_ , she pleaded. _That's not fair._

"Rey," the voice said. "Please. Can't you feel my presence?"

Pain sliced through her chest. _Don't do this to me. He's gone, he's not coming back, he left me, he—_

"Rey. I'm here. I'm right here."

As if not to disturb whatever trick the Force was playing on her, Rey descended from her meditation, feet falling to the ground without a sound. Ben's voice was so real in that moment that Rey was afraid to turn around lest the spell be broken.

Ben Solo stood across the clearing, wearing only what would protect him from the elements. No supplies. No armor. No lightsaber. Rey saw him as he was, which was as she had always seen him: a man overflowing with the Force, with goodness, with _light_.

The Force sang to life, flowing between them like a wild river current. It sang a song of completion, of fulfillment and recognition. They descended on each other, colliding, all hands and arms and bodies pressed so tightly together Rey could scarcely breathe. Ben clung to her, broad shoulders and impossibly long arms encircling her, holding her to him as if she were gravity itself.

"I'll make it up to you," he whispered, lips brushing against her hair. "As long as you'll have me. I'll make it up to you."

Rey lifted her head from Ben's chest, meeting his eyes, and searched through the Force for what lay inside his heart. Without waiting for what she found to make sense, Rey pulled Ben's face to hers, and ended his uncertainty with a kiss.

#

They returned to the base as the sun was setting. Ben had things to discuss with Leia. The war was over, but there were still battles to be fought to ensure the remains of the First Order didn't regain control.

"Of course," Rey nodded. "Leia. Of course. Your mother will want to see you." Fear welled in her chest. _He's leaving_.

Ben took her hand and pulled her close, pressing himself to her, hand low—so low—on her back. He brought one hand to the back of her neck, reaching out to her through their bond. Ben's gaze changed; it was no longer uncertain as it had been when he'd arrived. It was different this time. Charged.

"I don't want to leave. Can you feel that?" he asked, his eyes searching for any hint of reciprocity.

A thick haze hung between them. This wasn't the Force; this was physical, she realized. Rey felt something she couldn't identify coming from Ben that she hadn't noticed before. A heat settled deep within him. Simmering. Desire surged in her, feeling herself tighten as Ben moved her against a wall, slipping a muscular thigh between her legs.

"Ben, I—" she didn't know what to say. She didn't have the words. _Want_ , she thought. _Need_.

"I want nothing in this galaxy more than this," he said, brushing his lips against hers as he ran a hand down her stomach. He pressed his hips against her, his thigh giving just the barest bit of friction.

"Ben," she breathed. The heat within her was threatening to boil over. With what little concentration she could muster, she tried to open herself up to him via the Force. Where words failed her, the Force would not.

Ben flushed as Rey's desire flooded his mind. He brought a hand to the narrow slip of skin above her waist, fire igniting the flesh where his fingers brushed. Rey melted against his touch.

"I will make it up to you," he promised. "Just give me time."

#

Ben didn't return that night. Or the next. He'd slipped a note under her door. 

_I haven't left_ , it said.

When she next saw Leia, the General seemed lighter than she'd been in years, like the weight she'd been carrying was finally gone. She'd thought she'd been successful in her attempt at making a casual inquiry at Ben's return from his mission. It was sometimes easy to forget that Leia Organa, who was so many things—Princess of Alderaan, General of the Rebellion, Galactic Senator—was also sensitive to the force.

"You love him," she smiled.

Rey nodded, brows furrowed. "I—yes. I do," she said.

"My son is going to spend the rest of his life atoning for his failures," Leia said. "As well he should. The politician in me wants to see him answer for his crimes. The General in me wants to see him put his knowledge to good use," she continued. "But the mother in me... the mother in me will always win out over the other parts. The mother in me wants to see him happy."

Rey nodded. "Is it the Force? Is the dyad the reason I feel this way?"

"I can't say for sure," Leia said, her eyes searching Rey for something Rey couldn't discern. "But I don't think so. I think you would have loved each other regardless."

#

She felt Ben before she saw him.

Rey's mind flooded his thoughts: the memory of her body under his, his hands on her, her mouth searching his. Disjointed emotions raced alongside the images. Longing tempered with anxiety. Desire stamped down by fear.

Rey stood and rushed to the door of her quarters. The door opened as she approached. Ben Solo stood on the other side, brows arched, face painted with a questioning kind of hope.

"I can hear you coming from a mile away," Rey said, smile filling her face. She was surprised when Ben didn't rush to her immediately as he had the last time they saw each other. She took a step forward, gently probing his mind, relieved to find that he was still open to her. "Ben? What's wrong?"

"I left," he said. "I did what I said I wouldn't." He would always find a way to blame himself, Rey realized. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other as if weighing a decision. She could feel the conflict, the uncertainty. She would decide for him, then.

"Yes," she said. Ben's face fell a fraction as Rey stepped forward. She was going to send him away, and he would do so without complaint. But instead, she motioned the door closed behind them and pulled Ben's face to hers. "But you came back," she whispered.

He pulled her into him, closer, tighter, as if he hoping he could absorb some her goodness through proximity. Where Ben was darkness, Rey was light. His kiss came slowly at first, gently, with none of the urgency it once had. He ached and yearned for her like she was the sun at the center of his universe.

Ben saw them as if he were outside of them, an observer intruding on their stolen moment. The thought saw another person take Ben's place. Ben recognized the man as the Stormtrooper Leia had taken in, the one who seemed to follow Rey to the ends of the galaxy. Perhaps his faint connection to the Force this was part of the bond he shared with Rey. Whatever it was that they shared, it was nothing— _surely_ nothing, he told himself—compared to the dyad bond. Rey withdrew from Ben's arms as a barely perceptible wave of possessiveness swam between them.

"I don't belong to you, Ben Solo," she warned.

He hadn't even tried to protect his thoughts from her; he didn't think he would ever again, no matter what the cost.Rey saw glimpses of Finn embracing her in Ben's vision. Beneath it lay wealth of darkness: Fear. Loss. Ache. Longing. Inadequacy.

"Hear me when I say this: I don't belong to you. I don't belong to anyone." Rey would not—could not—abide another person seeking dominion over her. Not even Ben, who felt like coming home. She slipped easily into the place in the Force in which only they existed. _You have to let go,_ she said. _Of the anger. Of the fear._

The storm inside of the man that used to be Kylo Ren raged on, but Rey could see a break in the clouds that blotted out the sky. Ben searched Rey's eyes, but where words failed him, the Force strengthened him. Warmth filled the space between them, and Ben reveled in the fullness of the connection. It was heavy with hope and forgiveness and... love?

So many times had Ben Solo faced the monster that was Kylo Ren. So many times had Rey reminded him of the light within him. So many times had Rey stood by as the storm threatened to overtake him.

For someone with so much power, she hid so little. _I need you here with me_ , she said. As matter-of-fact as if she were saying _I need air to breathe_.

"Stay."


End file.
